Shark out of Water
by Yella
Summary: Adam is the new kid at Degrassi with a mysterious allure that Fiona finds irresistible. But when the going gets tough, can Adam keep his secret promise a promise, and for that matter, can he keep his secrets?
1. Chapter 1

Adam walked down the halls of Degrassi. A new student lost in a school that had a rep with the bizarre and depressing. Every ounce in him made the door look more appealing to go running back to his last school. Although, he had made a promise, and his parents were expecting him to keep that promise at least for this year.

His first mission was walking to the principles office where he gained a smug look from the school receptionist and his schedule. "Mr. Simpson, Media Immersion. Homeroom." Adam sighed as he talked to himself in the empty hallway. He walked to the class, and turned as he saw someone pass him by.

"Declan! I found that website for New York fashions you told me about last night. I can't believe you, mister 'straight and narrow' found it. It's amazing."

"Yea well, thank Holly J. as she was the one bantering about it all night. There wasn't any way I could get around it except promising her that I would inform you, since she feels mostly responsible for the reason I wanted to come back here."

"How many times have I told you? I know it's not you're fault and I'm not blaming you…anymore." Fiona gave a small smile and turned, blushing as she saw the new boy in school. "Who's he?" She asked, turning back to Declan.

"Why? He gained your interest."

Adam could feel his name coming out of the pretty boys mouth as he turned back to the door of his new homeroom. The same whispers were going to start all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Fiona, I just want to know why you want to know so much about this 'boy'. You have done nothing but spout on and on about him all day, and as much as I love your brother, I will now have to kill him for unloading you on me." Holly J smiled at Fiona.

"I'm so so sorry, I just…I don't know. There was just something about him, an aura, I guess you could say. It was something really mysterious."

"And you think, as student body president, I could figure out his whole story? Why don't you just go to Chantay and get the low down on him through the anti-grapevine."

"Because…I don't trust her like I know I can trust you. You know the whole thing between me and Riley, and how that blew up in my face."

"Yea, but sweetie.." Holly J turned her voice to a whisper, "Riley, he's gay. He may not be out, but I do know. Your beloved brother isn't as trustworthy as I may be, but I know he'd never tell that secret and neither of us would mention the train wreck 'relationship' you all pseudo-had just because he was confused. But if you're sure about this boy, Adam, maybe you should ask him yourself."

"Do you think he'd actually talk to me? He seemed sort of…anti social. He kind of scowled at Declan and I when we were discussing that website in the hall. Like he thought that we were talking bad about him. Oh my god….Holly J! What if he thought, what if he thinks I was making fun of him. I can't talk to him now. He'll think that I want to just get to know him to use that against him! Ugh, I'm such an idiot."

"Whoa, slow down girly. You're only an idiot if it's true. And I doubt he remembers you with a lug head like Declan this morning talking." Holly J looked at Fiona who was still freaking out, "…but if you think you already messed up with this beautiful boy you're describing, then go, set the record straight."


	3. Chapter 3

Adam left his last class for the day, and wondered the halls for a minute before finding his locker. All of a sudden he looked up and saw one of the new teachers assistants that was in his history class, Mr. Del Rossi. "Hey, Mr. Del Rossi, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, Adam right? You're a new student and you're already asking for advice from a teacher. Wow, you're brave."

"How did you know I was new?" Adam smiled a faint smirk, watching Mr. Del Rossi adjust his tie and wave to a few student he obviously knew in the hall. "Oh, I get it…you are friends with some of the students." Adam started to walk away, but Marco stopped him.

"Actually, I use to be class mate with some of these people." He said as he watched Holly J disappear out the front doors of Degrassi. "So, don't be afraid to talk to me about, anything, since it wasn't too long I was in your shoes."

"What shoes would that be?" Adam snared back, leading Marco to take a step back.

"Whoa, buddy, I was just implying," Marco lowered his voice, "I know how confusing it can be to come out in high school."

"What are you talking about? I'm not gay…I'm….." Adam swallowed, "I have to go. My parents will be waiting for me, and I…I made them a promise."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Yea, I know…" Adam said as he pushed passed Marco and out the doors of Degrassi.


	4. Chapter 4

"I just find him alluring is all," Fiona spouted at Declan as the were walking to visit Holly J at The Dot. "Besides, I'm probably not even his type."

"Fiona, darling, any man with two eyes will see that you are his type, and if they're straight, I may add"

"You have to say that since you're my brother."

"No, I'm saying that because you and I have the same good-looks genes since we are twins." Declan gave Fiona a cheesy grin and walked into The Dot. When Fiona passed by Declan, who was making his way to the counter for Holly J, she spotted a familiar black backpack and the same black cadet hat, sitting in the corner of The Dot sipping a coffee.

Fiona averted her gaze from the boy and darted to the counter, "Umm, Holly J, did you acknowledge that boy sitting in the corner over there."

"Yes, we did, Fiona, he's been here everyday since the middle of summer, where have you been?" Spinner came from the back and smiled, looking towards Fiona, then back at the boy in the corner, "Don't you think he might be a bit emo for you, princess?"

"He's not 'emo', he just seems….lost." She glanced back at Adam as he glared back.

"Great. Now I'm going to be harassed at the coffee spot too." Adam mumbled, averting his attention to his things, and repacking his backpack.

"Oh, good heavens, he's leaving." Fiona turned back to Holly J. "Quick, what do I do, what do I say?"

"Going after him would be a good start." Declan offered, taking a sip of his coffee, then returning his attention to Holly J who quickly scolded him for pestering his sister.

"Even though Declan's being a pain, he has a point. If you want something you just have to go for it. Whatever it takes."

"Whatever it takes…got it." Fiona grabbed her coffee and walked after Adam as the door closed behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey! Wait up…you're walking too fast for me." Fiona stumbled, trying to keep up with the boys fast pace.

"That's the point of avoiding. It gets more complicated as you follow more closely."

"But you don't even know me. So why would you want to avoid me."

"And you don't know me, so why are you following?"

"Maybe that's the point? I want to know you."

Adam stopped. He didn't understand the kind of kindness she was displaying towards him. At his old school, as soon as someone got to know him, they would pick him up and throw him into a dumpster. "Why? What could you possibly want from me? More ammunition for your mocking guns. Is my appearance not enough for you to display to your friends, you have to place my life at their mercy to by getting to know me."

"That's not my intentions at all. It's just…you look lonely. I thought maybe that was something we had in common. See, My names Fiona, and I'm new here too. Not in the same since that you are, but, new to this kind of lifestyle. New to the school. New in the since that…I don't have any friends besides the ones my brother drudges up for me. I would kind of like to have someone to call my own." She looked over at Adam, who was looking at the ground beneath his feet, "I'm sorry, I'm boring you. And I'm wasting your time. I'll just leave you alone. Obviously I misread you, and you are so not interested in what I'm like." Fiona turned around to leave, but then a soft hand reached out and grabbed her arm.

"My names Adam. And I'm lonely too."


	6. Chapter 6

They sat on the curb outside The Dot for a long while in silence, but then Fiona broke it, "Just in case you were wondering, the boy that I showed up here with is my brother, Declan. His girlfriend works here, so we come here sometimes and I decided today was a good day to come with him early. I usually don't show up till everyones left. I don't like being around a lot of people very much."

Adam only nodded, soaking up his surroundings and looking for close escape routes in case things got ugly.

"…so I'm guessing that's why I've never seen you here before. I would have remembered you."

"Would you? I'm not really anyone to remember, actually."

"Why not? You're cute, you speak well. And you're one of the first boys to actually not act like a sexist pig around me. I respect that out of someone."

"I'm lucky if no one talks to me at all. Sometimes talking just makes things worse."

"Why is it so hard for you to just be yourself?" Fiona questioned, as Adam heard the door to The Dot swing open.

"Fi, are you ready to go home? Holly J is packed in there and I don't want to make her distracted anymore then she already is." Declan smiled at his sister, then over to Adam, "Hi," he offered his hand, "I'm Declan, Fiona's brother. I must apologize for my sister. When she finds something she wants, she goes after it whole heartedly."

"Declan!" Fiona reached over and smacked his shin. "Shut up."

"No, she's actually…one of the best people I've ever met. It's fine." Adam smiled up to Declan, who gave him and approving look back.

"Well, if she's in good hands, I'll leave you two alone to get more acquainted.'

"Bye, Declan. I'll deal with you later." She waved at Declan embarrassedly as he walked back home.

"He seems like a good big brother. Does he know he just left you with a freak you barely know?"

"You're not a freak, Adam. I think you're beautiful." Fiona covered her mouth as she let it slip.

"Beautiful huh? I like it. It's a bit girly though." Adam smiled.

"Well," Fiona scooted closer, "you're soft, and warm. When you touched me early, it was as if someone had melted me. If that makes any sense" Fiona looked down, scared that she'd lost him some how, but then she looked back into Adam's eyes. "Your eyes, they just have this way of holding onto people. I'm surprised you're so afraid of getting to know anyone."

"Not everyone is as understanding as you I suppose. And it's nice, that you feel that way about me, and you just met me."

"Maybe this isn't just the first time we meet, but maybe many more times to come?"

"I'd like that." Adam nodded, taking his hand and placing over on Fiona's lap. "You are very angelic. You think we were meant to meet?'

"I'd like to think that nothing is happenstance." Fiona laced her finger around Adam's, and smiled back into the boys eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

"It was awful nice of you to walk me home like this, Adam." Fiona smiled, as Adam walked silently by. "Are you ok?"

"Yea, I'm fine. Just kind of worried about getting home in the dark is all."

"I could have one of our drivers take you home, it's not a big deal."

"Drivers? Are you loaded or something?"

Fiona ignored the question, "It's really no big deal, they have to do what I want them to or daddy gets mad."

"Huh. No thanks. I'll take my chance walking home. Wouldn't want to put you out or anything." Adam smirked out sarcastically.

Fiona retreated to her front door, afraid she was going to make a bigger fool of herself tonight.

Adam was the first to break the silence, "Look, I'm sorry, Sometimes I use sarcasm when I really shouldn't. It's a defense. When I take you on a real date, I promise I'll leave the starkness at home."

"A date?" Fiona beamed, not imagining why someone would want to see her after knowing that about her. "Are you sure you want to date a 'princess'."

"I've had my run ins with a few 'princesses' milady, and trust me, you are going to be one of the most gracious queens I've ever known." Adam took Fiona's hand and kissed the back of it, walking away with a sure smile on his face as Fiona stood, blushing and in complete awe.


	8. Chapter 8

Adam walked in the dark all the way to the bus stop. As he got on he noticed a couple of thugs staring intently at him, so at the next stop he made a mental note to step off before something happened. When the bus finally stopped, Adam grabbed his bag and started walking the next few blocks to his new apartment shared with his parents. As he got halfway, however, he was stopped by a pair of men with batons in their hands. "Look here boys," The first one spat out, the smell of liquor on his breath. "Looks like we got ourselves a faggot."

"You…you're wrong. I was just walking home. I-I have a girlfriend."

"Oh really? You trying to infect our women with your nasty diseases before you go back to the 'gay way'. One last hurrah!" The second man chuckled out, smacking the baton down in his hand infront of Adam's face. "What's your name pretty boy? I might have to help identify you after we're done with you. But it'll be worth it if they throw me in jail over a queer like you."

Adam back himself away from them and started running, as soon as he turned the corner though, he found two more men blocking his path to freedom. "Look, I don't want any trouble. I just want to go home. Plain and simple. No harm, no foul."

"No harm? Your existence is harmful. Just you being alive, fag, is harmful to all of our healths. " The first one spat out

"I'm done talking to this piece of shit," the third one threw the first blow, knocking Adam to the ground. "How'd you like that? You done trying to fuck around with guys yet? Huh?" the third one struck again, smacking the back of Adam's head with the baton.

"That's enough." Another familiar voice rang out, "If you boys want to keep hurting him, I suggest you move it. Cause the cops will be here any second." As soon as the voice sounded, cop sirens filled the air and the men took off.

"Adam, Adam, are you ok? Can you hear me." Another voice was down beside him now, closer to him and feeling his head. "Oh my god, Spinner, he's bleeding."

"I think I have something in the car, I'll be right back, just try to keep him awake, Marco." Adam heard the names of his protectors. Their words were ringing in his ears louder then the ambulance sirens that revved up to the curb did. "Officer, there were four of them. Yes sir, four, each of them with police issued batons. No I'm not making this up. I was trying to help my friend by getting as many details as I could!"

"It's ok Adam, you're safe. With friends." Marco whispered.

As Adam blacked out, the last thought on his mind was "friends…"

"Fiona, the phone. It's for you. It's Marco…" Holly J handed her cell phone over to Fiona. Holly J's eyes trying to focus on something other then Fiona's face.

"Holly J, what's going on."

"Just…talk to Marco, he'll explain."

"Hello?"

"Fiona? Hey, it's Mr. Del Rossi. I'm sorry to be calling you this late, but he was asking for you. It's all he kept saying actually."

"Who?" In an instant she knew exactly who it was, "Oh my god…what's wrong with Adam?"

"He's in the hospital. They think he's got a concussion, but he should recover fine."

"What do you mean? I was just with him today. He just walked me home and I…" Fiona remembered his growing concern about walking home alone.

"Fiona…I found him brutally beaten. Don't worry they caught who did it. There were four guys. They…beat him with batons and their bare hands."

"Why? Why would they do this to Adam? He doesn't even know anyone here."

"Fiona…has he told you anything about himself? Something he doesn't want anyone else to know perhaps?"

"No…I only just talked to him today."

" Fiona…he lives in gay town. So maybe…"

"No…he's not gay. I know this. He likes me. He can't be gay."

"Well, whatever his sexual orientation is, it'll just have to wait. He wants to see you."

"Ok…tell him, tell him I'll have someone drive me over there this instance."


	9. Chapter 9

"What about this dress, Adam? It's only fitting since we are going to the prom together." Fiona held up a short, sleek, ivory white Victorian dress that cut off right below the shoulders. "Would you like me in this?" she flirted.

"Hum…maybe, but I still haven't figured out what I'm going to wear. I don't want to look like some slum next to a goddess in a dress like that." Adam smiled over, placing a surer hand over Fiona's shoulder, grazing her collarbone with his fingertips.

Fiona placed the Victorian in her hired assistants hands, "Hold this please." Fiona chuckled as she fanned through more dresses. She stopped as a ruby red and black lace gown caught her attention. "Ooh, Adam, this one would be perfect for you!"

Adam sent a shocked look back at Fiona. "What…."

"Oh, don't be shy, Adam. Everyone knows you are just a girl on the inside. Your body and that skin of yours. The way you blush. Even your hairstyle makes you look like a huge faggot. Either you're a girl, or you like boys." Fiona smirked, stepping closer to Adam. "See, there. That face you're making right now tells me everything I need to know and then some." Fiona snatched the dress from her assistant and whipped back around to Adam's stunned disposition, "The only question left to ask yourself is simple: Why the hell are you wasting my time?"

a/n: Thanks for the wonderful reviews so far :) I appreciate each one and love hearing your feedback.

Adam will probably be the character I mainly write about from here on out, so expect more shorts, oneshots, and chapter stories when the new season begins.


	10. Chapter 10

Fiona woke up to a startling noise coming from Adam's hospital bed, "No, no, I don't want to waste your time. I- you're the only friend I have, please…" Adam was panting in his sleep, murmuring incoherent sentence.

"Adam…?" Fiona rushed to his side, shaking his shoulders, "Oh my god, Adam, wake up. I'm such a stupid girl. I wasn't suppose to let you fall asleep, Adam, please, wake up!"

Adam sat straight up, sweating profusely onto the hospital's sterile sheets. "Where…where am I?" He swallowed, looking around the room and trying to forget the nightmare he'd been having.

"Sweetie, you're in the hospital. Do you remember anything from last night?" Fiona sat down in the guest chair beside him, reaching out for his hand, and only getting a flinch in return. "I'm not going to hurt you, Adam. It's me, Fiona. You know? Your friend."

"Like hell you're my friend. I barely know you." Adam whispered out.

"Excuse me?"  
"You heard me. Why don't you get out of here. I wouldn't want you to be missing precious daylight hours where you're not out shopping, but instead taking charity on a boy you barely met twenty-four hours ago."

"Adam, stop it. You're hurt."

"I am. And no thanks to you. Just go home. Go back to your perfect life and stay the hell out of my ruined one."

Fiona felt like he had reached up and smacked her across the face. She had spent all night talking to police and calling his frantic parents about what had happen just to have her generosity slapped back. "Fine. I'll let you rest. When you feel like talking, or something, whatever, you call me. I'll be there, Adam."

"I won't hold my breathe princess." Adam spat out, being as vicious as he possibly could.


	11. Chapter 11

Fiona gathered up a few of the things she had brought with her and hurrid out of the hospital rooms and passed the corridor. Tears streaked her face as she fumbled past the lobby, where Spinner and Mr. Del Rossi had been waiting to hear any news.

"Fiona, over here." Spinner waved, then stopped as he noticed she'd been crying, "Hey, is he ok? You know he's going to be ok, right? He just got knocked around pretty bad, there's no reason to cry, he's a tough man I'm sure." Spinner smiled reassuringly.

Fiona gasped, "Yea, he's tough all right. Tough as nails and mean as a snake." She pushed past the men in the lobby and out the doors of the hospital.

"What was that all about?" Marco turned to Spin.

"I dunno man, but I'm betting he's awake, so now might be a good time to ask him a few things."

"Yea that's right, let's go."

Marco was the first to enter the room. "Oh great, a teacher sent to check up on me. Don't worry Mr. Del Rossi, I'm sure I'll be back in school tomorrow."

"Adam, do you not remember what happened last night? You were almost murdered."

"So? It's not like it hasn't-…you know what? I don't have to tell you all anything. Why don't you just mind your own business and focus more on my grades then my personal life."

"Man, we are here to help you. Now stop acting like such a puss and let us help you."

"You want to help me, fine. Get me out of here, and never talk to me about this again. It's bad enough I'm going to have to tell something to my parents to get them to refrain from sending me back to Bardell."

"Wait….you went to Bardell before this? Isn't that school kind of known for bullying?" Marco questioned, sitting in the same chair that Fiona had once occupied.

Adam turned his head, then relented, "You act like this hasn't happened before. Being kicked around use to happen almost every day there. Everyone there thought that I'm gay. But I'm not. It's…complicated."

"What's complicated? Wait; was this what you were trying to talk to me about at school yesterday?" Marco instantly clued in to the situation.

Spinner it took several minutes, "What? I don't get it. How's it complicated? Either you like boys or you don't and you like girls. Which is it?"

"Oh no…I like girls. That's the odd thing about how I feel inside. I'm such a freak."

"I still don't-"

"Spin, he's transgender."

"And in English please, wise ole Marco."

"I was born a boy, but I think like and feel like I should have been a girl instead."

"Wow, and this is where I get lost. If you just stay as a guy then you can still date girls and not get beat up or feel lost anymore man." Spinner said matter-of-fact like.

"Spinner…you know that's not how it works. Remember when I got beat up? Remember what I told you? People can tell that don't even know me. Same with Adam. They know without even knowing him." Marco told Spinner then turned back to Adam. "I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you in the hallway. Maybe I could have helped, or at least found you a safer way to get home. I just can't believe that 'gay town' is still as dangerous as it was when I first came out. Why do you live in that part of town anyways? Isn't that out of Degrassi district?"

"It is, but my parents pay a lot of money to the school board so I can go there. Plus my parents thought it would be safer for me to live in an area surrounded by more of 'my kind'. If that makes any sense."

"Yea, it does. Your parents sound more accepting then mine did though."

"No. They don't accept it. I know that they live there to try to hide me. They think I'm a freak to. My mother gets upset every time I talk about a dress or some cute outfit I'd like to buy or the new brand of make up on television. And I don't even want to get started on how my dad can't even look me in the eyes any more." Adam looked down at his bruised knuckles. "Besides, he gets a proud look in his eyes when I'm in a fight and can still survive. Like he did raise a son, and he has a son the can whoop ass." Adam smiled a false smile then looked up at the ceiling. "But it's a lie. This body feels so forgien to me. But it's what he sees on the outside that counts."

Marco placed a comforting hand over Adam's. "How about we get you home?"

"Yea, I suppose. Let's get me home."


	12. Chapter 12

The next day at school, Adam walked through the front door with his bloody lip and blackened knuckles and headed straight for his locker. He didn't want to have to say anything to anyone, and he was afraid that if he saw Fiona, he might actually lose it.

"Fiona, I understand you care about the boy, but he's a freak. What if he gets you hurt?" a voice came from the corner around Adam's locker. He peaked over the side and noticed that Declan was furious, practically screaming at his sister. "I forbid you to talk to him ever again…" It was all Adam could do not to run over and slam him into Fiona's locker. The only word in Adam's mind, one solitary word: Freak.

When he turned around he saw two poorly dress boys standing in front of him. "Well well, Johnny, look what we have here." Bruce said, backing Adam up against his locker, "we got ourselves a homo roaming free at Degrassi. Aren't you all supposed to be caged, or something."

"Hum, maybe he just doesn't know how to get there; I think Mr. Del Rossi could show him the way." Johnny sneered, "Adam? That is your name, right? Well, I have to tell you…Adam….that just doesn't sound fitting for you. How about Ashley? Or Adrianna? Ohhh, Amanda might be a nice one too."  
"Or how about Alli, as in, Alli Bandari? The girl who's going straight to the principal's office if you don't stop flaunting you tyranny all over the new students." Alli smiled back to Adam, "Don't worry; him and Bruce are all talk."

"Backwoods…how lovely to see you today."

"Wish I could say the feeling was mutual, but when it comes to you, I have no feelings anymore." Alli quipped.

"Right…can we just get back to the queer-mo that's invading our school?" Bruce acknowledged as the lovers quarrel almost unleashed in the hallway, but by the time they turned around, Adam was nowhere in sight.


	13. Chapter 13

"…if he's going to hurt you like that. God, Fiona. Are you blind? What kind of man hurts a pretty girl like you?"

"Stop it Declan, you don't know what happened to him last night, you weren't there. He was in shock."

"Would you listen to yourself? Give up on him. He's a lost cause. There are plenty of boys in this school just clamoring for a chance to be with you!" Declan was furious.

"We have a lot in common, Declan!" Fiona yelled back, pushing her brother back, "And it would be nice for once to have a friend I don't have to call your friend first."

"Is this what this is all about? I don't have time for you anymore since I got myself a girlfriend, so you run off and find the first scumbag that gives you a line about being a queen and a kiss on the wrist?"

Fiona smacked Declan across the face then walked past him. Holly J was quick to his side, watching the whole scene from a distance since sibling rivalry could get messy. "Declan, sometimes you're going to have to watch that mouth of yours." She said, checking his face over where the imprint of Fiona's hand was, "she's really delicate right now. I think she might be falling for this boy and you're just going to have to step aside and let her make some mistakes before she finds the right one. Who knows? Adam might surprise you."

"Surprise me by what? Getting my sister killed?"  
"Don't be ridiculous, babe. Adam was at The Dot all summer and I didn't have one problem out of him." She looked Declan over, then kissed his cheek, "If it makes you feel any better, I heard a rumor from Jane that Spin might know what's what with Adam, and maybe I could get some information out of him. If that would make you feel better."

"It would. But don't work him to hard." Declan smiled his charming smile, "I know how you use to feel about him, and I don't want him getting too frisky with my lady."

"See, that's the kind of lines that get you smacked."

**A/N: I'd like to clear up somethings about 'Adam'. As it is unclear what Adam actually is (Whether he is a girl who wants to be a boy or a boy who wants to be a girl) one thing is for sure on every website I have read and that is that he is transgender. I wrote him as a male transit to female because in a twitter posted by Jordan Todosey she calls Adam a 'he'. I considered that could mean one of two things, so I went with the fact that Degrassi writers will probably make it unknown for a little while that Adam is actually a girl or a boy who wants to be a girl. If it comes to the fact that Adam is actually a girl who wants to be a boy, then my stories will then follow suit. But as it is, I'm leaving this stories as interpretation for what I believe may or may not be true. I will however be uber excited if I'm wrong and Adam is actually a girl wanting to be a boy :) As always, thank you for reading my fic and enjoy ~A.R.~**


	14. Chapter 14

Adam was sitting in the Zen garden after school, waiting for everyone to leave so he can stop being asked about the cuts and bruises on his body. "It's a dog eat dog world out there son," he remembered his dads words when he had his first fight, "You got to roll with the punches, get knocked down, or learn how to fight. And the way you've been behaving latly, well, just goes to show you'll get knocked down more than anything." The words only infuriated him more, feeding fire to his soul.

As Adam got up to leave, he spotted a familiar sweater over a button up shirt and tie. "Adam, just the man I wanted to see." Declan said, blocking the doorway with his full body. "Tell me, what would drive a boy like you, to hurt a woman like Fiona?"

"Get out of my way Declan."

Declan pushed back Adam a bit, then sighed, "You know, it's funny. To me, all I see is a little boy who's afraid, but the reality is you're the bully, isn't it? That's why you played with my sister. Toyed with her emotions just to bring her down to your level?"

"Dude, you've got it all wrong."  
"Oh yea? Well, enlighten me tough guy." Declan shoved harder, pushing Adam back down onto the bench, "Because I want to know what exactly it is that makes you think that you can hurt my sister and get away with it."

"I'M NOT A BOY!" Adam yelled, pushing Declan back a bit. They both stumbled out into the hallway. Declan chuckled a little as he didn't lose his footing, and held onto Adam so he could stay up. Adam was shocked as Declan held onto him, not letting him fall even though he had tried to hurt him just moments ago.

"What?" Declan asked, puzzled by the statement.

"Never mind, it's a long story, and I don't feel much like explaining it. Just know this: I do like your sister, and I care about her deeply. I just figured she wouldn't want to be around me once she found out the truth."

Declan looked down and then spoke, "if you don't think my sister can handle honesty then you don't know her at all. And if you think she's the type of person that would disown you because of a secret or your past, then you don't deserve to be her friend. And know this: If you hurt her, then you really are the freak that everyone calls you." Declan turned to leave the school, leaving a saddened Adam alone with his thoughts.


	15. Chapter 15

"So, you're saying that he really is a girl on the inside?" Holly J questioned, looking back and forth between Marco and Spinner.

"Yea, it was confusing for me too, Lil J. I didn't understand it fully until Marco explained it for me like he just did for you."

"Poor Fiona, I wonder if she knows yet."

"I don't think we should tell her, I mean, it's not really our place. It's up to Adam to decide when he's ready to tell her." Marco took a sip of his coffee, then looked up as he heard the door of The Dot swing open and saw Declan walk in.

"Sorry I'm late. Is there a meeting that I'm unaware of or something." He said, acknowledging everyone around him. "What's the scoop?"

"We were just discussing Adam. And Marco figured it out." Holly J said as she sat down beside Declan.

"Actually Adam told me himself."

"Yea, there's really no need to explain it. I already know." Declan looked down at the table. "He's transgender, right?"

"How did you know?" everyone was now staring at Declan shocked.

"He made a comment to me when I…sort of….bullied him around after school."

Holly J smacked the back of Declan's head, "How could you do that to him? Ugh, Declan, I just hope no one saw you. You know there's a zero tolerance policy at school."

"Yea I know. Something about him wasn't right. The fact that when I pushed him, he didn't get mad and push back at first. He just screamed at me. Reminded me of this friend I had back in France once. He and Fiona were really close as well. So maybe that's what is attracting her to him." Declan looked over to Holly J. "But then he yelled at me, 'I'm not a boy', it was so loud and forceful, and then he pushed right through me, like he was trying to take back what he said. But I just grabbed him."

"Oh god, Declan, please tell me you didn't hurt that poor boy more then he's already been hurt."

"No..I wouldn't…I couldn't do that to Fiona. I just held onto him. He was shaking, and crying. I was scared for him, and taken aback a bit. At any rate, Fi likes this boy a great deal and if she's going to figure this out, it has to be on her own. It can't be from any of us. Understand?" They all agreed to let things sort themselves out and enjoyed the rest of the evening at The Dot.


	16. Chapter 16

"Come in." Adam said as he heard a slight rap on his door.

"I didn't know if you wanted to see me or not…" Fiona said, taking the door gently in her hands and closing it shut behind her, "You were so upset yesterday; I just figured it'd be best, but I couldn't go without talking to you and making sure you were ok. I couldn't stand it if-"

"Shh…it's ok Fiona. I'm safe. I'm alright." Adam said, pulling Fiona towards him for a hug, and then sitting back down on his bed. "You shouldn't be here though, after the way I treated you. Your brother was right. I am a freak if I can hurt someone like you."

"You're not a freak. And when were you talking to my brother?" Fiona looked at him puzzled, "Did he do something to you?"  
Adam smiled a bit, and then looked Fiona straight in the eyes, "Nothing I can't handle. He just wanted to work me over a bit. See if I had any more pain in stored for his beloved sister. Which I regret ten folds."

Fiona reached over and kissed Adam's cheek. "I'm sorry…you're so soft, and loving. Even when you're angry, it seems like you're doing it out protection, but not protection for you, but for people around you." Fiona looked down, "God I must sound like a crazy person, I barely even know you and here I am acting like I've known you my whole life."

"You're not crazy. You are wonderful. Beautiful, smart. You're perfect."

"I'm not perfect. I let you go home by yourself last night and those men, they thought you were gay. Why? Because you don't display high levels of machismo? Because you're adorable? How come people only see what they want to see?"

"What if they are right though? What if I'm kind of gay…what if it's something along those lines, but kind of not at the same time?"

"I don't follow you."

"What if I'm a lesbian?"

Fiona almost fell off Adam's bed laughing so hard, "That would make sense considering you're a guy. But you would have to be…" She stopped as she felt Adam's face sinking lower to the floor. "But I don't understand how that is possible?"  
"For years….I've felt like being a girl. I feel like I am a girl on the inside trapped in this vacant boys body. Like my mind was switched at birth and someone else is walking around in my skin and I'm in theirs. I know it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Believe me; I've struggled with this my entire life. My parents won't even look at me the same way and I-…" Fiona cut him off, placing her lips against his firmly as she placed them both gently on the floor. Fiona was lying on top of him, pushing her fingers deep in to Adam's hair. "Fiona, you don't have to…"

"What?" Fiona stopped, "You act like your confession is going to change my mind about you, Adam. You are beautiful and I always knew there was something special about you the moment I saw that gorgeous face of yours."

"You're not freaked by this?" Adam sat up a bit on his elbows, forcing Fiona to sit back on his knees. "Not at all?"

"No…I had a friend in France that felt the same way. We were really close; I cared a great deal about him, but then my parents moved us away from him. So no, to answer your question, I'm not freaked out, nor am I afraid to be seen in public with you, nor am I afraid to call you mine. If you'll have me, that is." Fiona smiled gently and placed her hands on Adam's soft abdomen.

"This is…wow. You are truly unbelievable aren't you?" He leaned up and kissed Fiona again, rolling her over and placing himself on top of her. He leaned down and placed soft kisses along her jaw line before resting his head on Fiona's shoulder. "Do you think your brother will have a problem with this?"

"I really don't care what my brother thinks of you. You are the realist person here and the only person who matters."


	17. Chapter 17

Fiona rolled them back over so she could be on top of Adam. She leaned down and kissed him softly, then straddled his hips. As he wrapped his arms around her she laid back down on his soft body. Adam looked down at her nestled closely to him, "Do you think we should take this to the bed?"

"You move fast, hum?" Fiona chuckled looking back up at Adam as he blushed.

"Oh, uhh…that's not what I meant, I mean, I respect you far too much for that now and I just don't want you to be uncomfortable here on the floor." He choked out.

"It's ok, silly head, I already knew what you meant." She smiled, lifting her hand up and under his shirt. "Besides, anywhere you are, it's bound to be comfortable."

Adam shifted a bit nervously under her touch. He rolled over to his side to move away from her wondering hand. "You shouldn't have to touch me."

"Adam, I already told you, I don't mind…I like you for who you are on the inside, not outside. I just like touching you. Being free with you."

"I know…but what if you wake up one day and realize that this was just one big nightmare that you can't escape from?"

Fiona sat up abruptly, "Do you really think that lowly of me?" She questioned, taking her hands from Adam's abs to his shoulder, "Sweetie, I would never think you were any sort of a nightmare."

"How do you know?" Adam rolled back over, angry. "You don't know what its going to be like when people start talking."

"I don't care what people think," Fiona said, running her hand up and down Adam's stomach, " Can't we just lay here? Can't I just touch you and be happy with you?" She reached under Adam's shirt again.

Adam grabbed her arm, "Stop. That makes me uncomfortable."

Fiona quickly retreated, "Adam, I'm not afraid of you. It's ok, you're safe with me." She started running her fingertips over his abdomen.

"Just stop, ok? I don't want you touching me!"

Fiona snapped her hand back, "Fine, if you don't believe me, then I'll just go." She quickly gathered herself and stepped through the door, "Adam?" She turned back around.

He looked up from the floor. Fear and shame filling his eyes and mind.

"Don't call, at all."

As Adam heard the front door slam he slowly put his head in his hands and starting sobbing. The only person in the world that cared about him and he turned her away yet again. This time, he wasn't even sure if she'd forgive him. He crawled himself over to his length size mirror and lifted up his shirt, revealing deepened scars and bruises all over his abs and chest, markers of how much he truly hated himself.


	18. Chapter 18

When Adam arrived at school the next school, he recognized some familiar faces infront of his locker. "So, this is the fags locker? Is this where you hang out to pick up guys queer-mo?" Bruce spat out, as Johnny snickered. The pinned Adam up against the lining lockers and grabbed his collar, reaching back to slam a punch in his face, but instead aiming for the locker. "Boo! Did I scare you?" Johnny chuckled behind Bruce.

Adam closed his eyes. He was anticipating the blow to connect, and he didn't much feel like throwing down when he felt so worthless. He was willing them secretly to put him out of his misery and finish him off. His eyes were hollow and tired. "Come on queer, fight back!" Bruce said, twisting Adam's arm up and to the side. "What did you lose all your strength last night in a gangbang or something?" He connected another blow, but this one went straight against Adam's shoulder, who only barely flinched at the pain.

"Bruce, maybe you should…" Johnny grabbed Bruce's shoulder, no longer laughing as he saw that Adam wasn't reacting. "He's no fun today."

"No, this boys gotta tell me when it hurts." Bruce pulled on Adam's arm again, forcing the bone to pop, as he pulled Adam back from the locker, letting go of his arm, then ferociously shoved him up against the lockers, making Adam crumble to the floor.

"Come on, man, that wasn't cool." Johnny grabbed Bruce's arm, then Bruce flinched away.

"Man what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, just, he's not worth getting kicked out of school for."

Bruce gave Adam a once over, then turned back to Johnny, "Yea, I suppose you're right. He won't be giving us any trouble."

"No, he won't, but I might." Riley said from the hall, folding his arms across his chest, "Now get the hell out of here before I tell the principal."

The boys smirked then walked over Adam, back out the doors of Degrassi.

Riley rushed over to a slumped Adam, who was motionless. "Hey, buddy, you ok?" Riley smiled, trying to search for something in Adam's eyes, "Hello? Anyone home? Those guys really did a number on you didn't they?" He grabbed Adam's arm, but Adam gasped in pain, "Ok…sorry. Won't grab that arm then." Riley lift Adam up, holding onto him so he didn't fumble back to the floor.

As Riley looked up, he saw Zane jogging over. "Oh my god, is he ok? Hey, buddy? Can you hear me?" Zane looked Adam over. Adam just nodded, then looked away. "Do you hate yourself that much to not stand up for yourself?" Zane questioned.

"Life doesn't matter unless you have someone to care about you." Adam whispered, "And no one cares about me. How can they? I'm a freak."

"You're not a freak. You're just confused. It's scary coming out, being in highschool. Trust me, I know." Riley smiled, holding on to Adam's dead weight.

"I wish everyone would stop assuming I'm gay."

"You're not?" Riley looked puzzled.

"No…he's not." Zane looked Adam over again, this time more observant to things that weren't hurt. "But there's no reason to hate yourself that much. Even if it's a confusing time for you. No matter what your sexuality or what you prefer to be in your bed." Zane gave Riley a pointed looked and Riley just smiled. "There's a support group. We meet every Tuesday and we are very anonymous. Riley here goes." Zane grinned, flirting with Riley as Riley shifted bashfully. Zane held out a card for Adam. "You'll need this to get into the meeting."

Adam took the card and shoved it into his pocket. "Thanks, but I have a feeling I won't be needing it."


	19. Chapter 19

At the end of the day Adam was walking his way out the door, holding his shoulder for support. Bruce had almost ripped it right out of socket, but the pain didn't compare to how heavy his heart was.

"You look as bad as Fiona has been." Declan smiled, offering a little support when Adam winced at his shoulder, "hey, you alright? Did you and my sister break up? Cause she has been miserable since yesterday."

"Thanks for your concern, Declan, but I'm sure your sister is better off without me."

"I don't know about all that." Declan stopped, then looked into Adam's eyes, "I'm sorry for the other day by the way. I didn't mean to hurt you or upset you in anyway. It's obvious to me that my sister cares a great deal about you, and if I ever try to stand in the way of Fiona's happiness, well, things don't tend to go so great for me. So if you'd like to keep her company, she sitting in at our dress rehearsals today for the play this year." Declan nodded, then walked past, then he turned around, "Just think about it. Practice starts in about ten minutes, and there will be plenty of seating."

Adam watched as Declan left. He pulled his back pack over each shoulder and slowly turned around. He had to get a grip on himself and not let Fiona see him hurt.


	20. Chapter 20

"That's a wrap!" Declan shouts, looking back at Holly J shaking his head, "This years talent isn't as exuberant as last years." Declan scoffed, kicking the prop table. "I just want some else that can sing other than Chantay!"

"Baby, you'll find someone. I promise. Just don't put your sister back on the stage, please." Holly J smiled, then looked over at Adam, who was sitting in the back corner. "Is he ok?"

"I don't know, I found him in the hallway holding his arm. I think he got beat up again, but I'm not sure by who." Declan scurried around, picking up play props and set pieces, as Holly J made her way towards Adam.

"Why hello there, Adam. Care to lend your voice to the play?" Holly J suggested as Adam looked up at her. "Well, it was a shot I guess."

"Have you talked to Fiona?"

"Sort of, in the since that I've said hi and she barely said a word back. Whats up with you all? I thought you all would fix things when she went over to your house yesterday."

"We did. I messed it up again. I don't know if she'll forgive me a second time for snapping at her. I wouldn't blame her much if she didn't."

Holly J looked around, the smiled when her eyes reached the microphone, "Well, you could always serenade her with a song."

Adam looked up and saw the empty stage and the microphone. He looked around the room and noticed Fiona was looking straight at him, then turned her head abruptly as she saw him looking back. He did one last scan of the room then said "You think that would actually work?"

Holly J beamed, "Well, it wouldn't hurt to do something outlandish to catch someone's attention. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt."

Adam got up slowly, silently thanking Holly J for the chance he'd been waiting for the chance to redeem himself for last nights actions. He jumped up on stage and grabbed the mic. He started out as a soft whisper, "Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right. I never stopped to think of you. I'm always wrapped up in things I cannnot win." He stopped, pausing to see if Fiona was watching, when he noticed she was he continued, singing this time, "What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am. I never meant to be so cold to you."

Adam put the mic in the other hand, bursting louder as the lyrics became more pronounce in his mind, "I never really wanted you to see the screwed up side of me that I keep locked inside of me so deep. It always seems to get to me. I never really wanted you to go, so many things you should have known. I guess for me theres just no hope  
I never meant to be so cold. What I really meant to say, is I'm sorry for the way I am. What I really meant to say, is I'm sorry for the way I am."

Adam finished the song then looked around, Fiona had left the room. "That was amazing, maybe we should put him in the play!" Declan smiled, looking up at Adam who was staring at the doorway, "Or not."

"Declan, just give him a minute." Holly J smiled, then looked up at Adam, "That was perfect Adam, really. You're a natural."

"Umm, thanks I think." He said, not deferring his eyes from the door, "If you'll excuse me." Adam jumped off the stage.

"Of course," Declan said scratching his head as Adam ran out of the auditorium.


	21. Chapter 21

"Fiona, wait!" Adam screamed down the empty hallway, trying to catch up to Fiona. "What'd you think of the song? I know I didn't write it, and it wasn't original, but I thought maybe you'd accept it."

"I accept you, Adam. " Fiona snapped around, "But that song." Fiona shook her head, then looked down at her hands, grabbing Adam's, "That song only proves how much you hate yourself. I just…"

"What is it Fiona, anything…I'll do anything."

"I can't be with you like this anymore. Not because of anything about you, but because of you. You have to learn to live with yourself before there can ever be an us. And that song…all it proved was that you hate yourself." Fiona got closer to Adam, and kissed him softly, "And I love the way you are, you just have to love yourself." Fiona started crying, then walked away, out of the school, and out of Adam's life.


	22. Chapter 22

Two weeks later Adam is wandering the hallways of Degrassi. It's the last day of school before winter break. Declan walks in beside Adam, "Hey man, how's it going? I haven't talked to you since that play practice where fyou blew everyone out of the park with that vocal number." Declan stopped infront of Adam, "Look, I know you and my sister are still fighting, but that shouldn't stop you from letting your talent go to waste. Just think about it, ok? I need you." Declan smiled, then walked off to his locker. Just as Declan walked away, Adam saw Holly J and Fiona walking to class together.

"Fiona, wait," Adam ran up, but Fiona didn't stop. Instead she sped up and Holly J turned around, countering Adam's relentless quest. "Just give it up all ready, Adam, it's been two weeks and obviously she doesn't want to see you right now. Just let her go on with her life."

"Holly J, I…"

"Holly J…come on. Class is about to start," Fiona said lightly.

"Look, Adam," Holly J began, almost whispering, "I know Fiona still really cares about you, but you have to let her have her space. And I can't deal with two mopey puppies at once, so you're just going to have to get in line until she's strong enough to stand on her own, because right now, she's my highest concern, not you."

Adam started growing furious, clenching his fist to his side and gritting his teeth, "Fine," he said under his breath then letting up, "But if she needs anything, or wants to talk, just let her know I'm here for her. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll let her know when she's up to listening to anything about you," Holly J walked into the classroom and they shut the door.

**A/N: Ok, I know I've got some explaining to do and some - not - so explaining to do. Johnny and Bruce are held back in this story. As for Fiona's sexuality, I'm not going to say either way. Love is love is love is love. I shouldn't have to put a label on her. :)**


	23. Chapter 23

That afternoon after school Adam stood outside of Fiona's last class of the day. He finally caught up with her, as she was the last one out of the room. "Fiona, please wait."

"I have nothing to say to you, Adam. I can't-I can't talk to you right now."

"Fiona, it's been two weeks since we've said one word to each other. Just, stop." He grabbed her arm and she flinched away.

"Don't, Adam. If I have to make this time apart a year until you realize that you have to be yourself, then so be it."

"But this is who I am!" Adam yelled, "And regardless of gender, I know I love you. Don't you think these past two weeks have been long enough?"

"No. Because I still see that you're scared. Scared that I'm going to reject you for who you really are. Because you are scared of yourself." Fiona took a step back and sighed, "I just..I have to go. Winter break should do some good. For both of us. And it's only going to work if we don't talk."

"But, Fiona…" Adam couldn't get another word out as Fiona walked away from him.

Holly J and Declan walked past Adam. "Ok, I'll tell you what. If you really care for her, then give her some space. She might come back around over the break. Who knows?" Holly J offered.

"We're going to France for the next few weeks. When school comes back, then she might come to her senses. Just give her space. Alright?" Declan smiled and offered his hand to Adam, shaking it. "You're good for her, and she knows it. You just have to decide if you're ready for yourself."

Adam shook Declan's hand and smiled, taking his backpack and walking home.


	24. Chapter 24

Adam's parents pried all winter long. "What happened to that pretty girl that was coming around here, Adam? Has she made you change your mind yet?" They didn't understand that this wasn't something that he could just change his mind about. He stayed in his room mostly, while others were walking to shop for holiday gifts and playing in the snow. The only trip he took was to the Dot, to see if Holly J had heard anything from the Coyne's.

Holly J walked over to Adam's table, refilling his coffee mug, "Holly J, you didn't have to do that, I…"  
"Please, you've been such a loyal customer around here, Spinner decided that free refills were on the house." She smiled, giving him a knowing look.

Adam smiled at the joke, "I didn't realize the refills were free here…thanks."

"Don't meantion it." Holly J looked outside, then back at Adam, who was staring into his coffee mug. "I've got a minute, if you'd like me to sit with you."

"Sure, go ahead." He offered her the chair in front of him and she sat.

"I miss them too you know? It's hard to be away from Declan for long when his parents get a hair up their…well, you know."

"I'm sure it's much harder for you since you and Declan were together longer than Fiona and I."

"It was, the first time. But he comes back, and he missed me just as much as I missed him, and it's great again. It makes up for all the time apart, you know? Just that second of seeing him again, it brings it all back." Holly J looked over to Adam's sad eyes, "I'm sure Fiona's going to come back missing you and wanting you back."

"I'm not so sure of that one. But thanks for saying it." Adam slowly sipped his coffee, "Have you heard anything from them?"

"Well…Declan called last night. Said that they were spending extra time in Paris.

Something about Fiona and his mom wanting to shop all the fashion boutiques there. He said that next year he's likely to be dragged to New York again just so Fiona can hit up all the fashion shops that I pulled up for her on this website I told her about a few months ago." Holly J smiled, "But you probably wanted to hear about how miserable Fiona is without you, huh?"

"Is she?" Adam perked up, his eyes searching for something in Holly's face.

Holly J defeneded, "I haven't heard much, but Declan did say she won't stop to talk. She's not really talking to anyone, just shopping a lot." Holly J grabbed Adam's hand. "It's probably a good sign. You know, I bet she's shopping a lot not to think about you. That means she's still got you on the brain."

"I hope so…" Adam sighed out. Holly J got up and started working. Adam packed up his belongings and headed out the door.


End file.
